“No, no, no…these are not all my tusks.

I only had two, for a start!

This is Coco, and Jumbo, and Clariss, and Ned –

who were recently shot through the heart.

“The tusks that I sported were sawn at the stump

…these were hacked from the bone, I would say.

You can only do that when an elephant’s dead,

since the trunk tends to get in the way.

“But its a beastly old pile, I must gravely agree.

And it brings quite a tear to my eye,

for these souls have departed the haunts of this veldt

for that spooky old zoo in the sky.”




Rainbow 2.jpg

At times the Rainbow Warrior

was just a little boat

bobbing on the ocean

trying to stay afloat.

But when she spotted villains

killing Minke whales,

she bobbed about ferociously

and puffed her little sails.

But since The Warrior’s been retired

the villains can’t be caught.

(D’you think a Jolly Rodger

would scare them back to port?)



“How can you tell me the climate is changing :Lights
it seem a ridiculous thing?
Every winter the snow-storms arrive
…then they melt back away in the spring!

“Even summers – way back – were as hot as today
and a drought always broke with a flood.
So frankly, my dear, I feel I must say
that I think global warming’s a dud!”

“Then, “frankly”, my dear, you should lend me your ear
if the bits that you see are okay.
You don’t climb up mountains to check on the snow,
while the glaciers shrink day by day.

“But if cracks in the Arctic don’t shake your foundations,
then Science will do it, I think.
Those shots of the dark side of Earth since Apollo
show the planet a-glow twinkle-twink.

You see…
the Earth doesn’t chill in the night like it used to
– with so many people plugged in.
When you switch on your lamp-light and fire-up your
– that’s where all our problems begin.”




We saved our cans and washed them,

and washed our bottles too.

We folded empty cartons

– as we’re all supposed to do.

We used old plastic bags

to wrap the food we couldn’t toss,

and put them all in different bins.

But now we’re at a loss.

The council’s just revealed

it treats all rubbish the same way.

It uses it as landfill

‘cos it’s cheaper day to day.

Now we can’t believe the bastards

so we go on as before,

rinsing bloody rubbish

even though we loathe the chore.





About FaceFace










Gazzillions of particles hang in the air
which I may not select to respire.
I’m obliged to suck-in every dust-mote and stink-bomb
regardless of what I desire.

“Where on earth has that been?” I think to myself
as some toxin slides down past my throat.
I can’t block its path ‘cos it’s well on its way
tho’ my breathing continues, I note.

Whiffy-dump-trucks and smelly-sludge-ponds…
…my nose feeds my lungs an array
of pre-used concoctions of various taints
which waft through my nostrils all day.

I believe, by the seaside, the air’s full of ozone
which is healthful and cleansing, they say.
But my blood’s running thick with unwholesome deposits
which fraternize – in their own way.



Boab Tree

If I were a bona-fide greenie

there’d be heaps of things I couldn’t do.

I wouldn’t be lit-up at midnight

typing these poems for you

   (…for a start!)

I’d be out there hugging a tree-trunk

in the dark, in the rain, in a field.

The hypocrisies of wannabe greenies

are embarrassing – once they’re revealed.

(I mean…)

Who would burn off barrels of diesel

gadding about the terrain?

Or pollute the upper ionosphere

jetting about in a plane?


Who’d sit at a desk well past midnight

and tweet messages all afternoon?

Who’d hang on a phone ‘cos it’s running red hot

in their own locked-in-tight climate zone?


Saving the planet ain’t easy,

(though it does make one seem very nice!)

But with modern-day games and distractions,

it requires too much self-sacrifice!


It’s A Gas!

Needle & Thread

There can’t be a hole in the ozone-layer

– I’ve decided it, don’t you see.

There can’t be a hole in the ozone-layer

because ozone’s important to me.

It’s a very serious matter.

I’ve been panicking about it all year.

I’d mend it myself with a needle and thread

but I can’t find the Stratosphere.




Oh dearie me, what have we done!
– By caring for our trees
we’ve caused an even bigger problem
– mainly overseas.

No longer free to write a note
on pristine paper sheets,
we’ve manufactured electronic
bleeps and cheeps and tweets.

By using smarter gadgets
and discarding older phones…
we’ve created hi-tech garbage
in a crush of silicone.




We own a white coupe

(which was once a fancy car!).

It’s only meant for two

and so we cannot drive it far.

But it takes us to the shops

and down the coast and out for meals

It’s modest and efficient.

        Well – it’s just a set of wheels !



We bought it years ago

with petrol prices at their worst.

The planet was in meltdown.

Now – I’d guess that’s been reversed.

‘Cos we’re parked here at the shops

among a drove of monster cars.

Four-wheel-drives peer down wide-eyed

as if we’d landed here from Mars.



A Colorado to the fore…

two Sportivos to the rear…

four Hilux in my line of view

…five Rangers very near.

Some Prados and a Cherokee…

an Azure. – Get my drift?

And nowhere do I even sense

one modicum of thrift!



Seems to me that conservation’s

gone off-road and lost it’s way

‘cos we’re driven to expand

 no matter what the pundits say!











Fishtank in Window                                                                                CORAL TANKING

Coral bleaching! Coral bleaching!
What’s the point of all that preaching
if the coral reef keeps bleaching all around?

We could dive down in the ocean
to apply a rainbow lotion
‘til a permanent embalm’ment could be found.

If we stopped the seas from warming
would we save the coral-spawning
in the moonlight, on that one night of the year?

Would that give us baby coral,
make us feel upright and moral
if we grow some in a fish-tank somewhere near?